Comments on: Same old thing http://www.psycho-momia.com/?p=132 "Watch what you say, they'll be calling you a radical, A liberal, oh, fanatical, criminal" Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:12:09 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: theex http://www.psycho-momia.com/?p=132&cpage=1#comment-282 theex Sat, 14 Jun 2008 03:52:26 +0000 http://www.psycho-momia.com/?p=132#comment-282 that sucks to hear your fighting over this...I have to say i think the reason he did not discuss it with you first is he did not think you would give him permission proubly ...and then again he might also be thinking hey it was a gift to me and I only blew this very small portion of it so look at the glass half full and not half empty...but the bottom line is your practical nature is having a hard time dealing with his impractical nature. But thats what yins and yangs are about...balance...so be greatful that there is a checks and balances system and be happy he did not blow all of it...and then go out and get yourself something with your birthday check...and remember not to feel guilty...why...because that is what he was trying to teach you in his own perverse way....to not be guilty for these small things...there sometimes what gets you through...like you said it wasn't the really exspensive one he wanted ...and he saw it as something for all of you to use, "for us" as he put it...last but not least remember he I am sure feels the money issues too....maybe his way of dealing with the penny pinching is to through a couple up in the air every now and then...i hate to admit it but i think those of us that are removed from the budget on a day to day basis tend to do that to our spouse's...I wish I could put into words a little better why...just realize he still loves you and it was maybe him knowing that on some level your approach was right and he knew it...but admitting that might be even more painful than yopu could imagine...its ground that sometimes you con't give up in a relationship...right or wrong. that sucks to hear your fighting over this…I have to say i think the reason he did not discuss it with you first is he did not think you would give him permission proubly …and then again he might also be thinking hey it was a gift to me and I only blew this very small portion of it so look at the glass half full and not half empty…but the bottom line is your practical nature is having a hard time dealing with his impractical nature. But thats what yins and yangs are about…balance…so be greatful that there is a checks and balances system and be happy he did not blow all of it…and then go out and get yourself something with your birthday check…and remember not to feel guilty…why…because that is what he was trying to teach you in his own perverse way….to not be guilty for these small things…there sometimes what gets you through…like you said it wasn’t the really exspensive one he wanted …and he saw it as something for all of you to use, “for us” as he put it…last but not least remember he I am sure feels the money issues too….maybe his way of dealing with the penny pinching is to through a couple up in the air every now and then…i hate to admit it but i think those of us that are removed from the budget on a day to day basis tend to do that to our spouse’s…I wish I could put into words a little better why…just realize he still loves you and it was maybe him knowing that on some level your approach was right and he knew it…but admitting that might be even more painful than yopu could imagine…its ground that sometimes you con’t give up in a relationship…right or wrong.

]]> By: moonspun http://www.psycho-momia.com/?p=132&cpage=1#comment-281 moonspun Fri, 13 Jun 2008 11:46:21 +0000 http://www.psycho-momia.com/?p=132#comment-281 Oi vei, that's a tough one. I see you disagreeing on two different things. One, the money, TD's birthday check and two, money. But it's not money reallly, it's priorities and communication. Your priorities for the money that TD got is the biggest issue. He thought one thing, you another. The lack of communication about it is the other issue, TD had ideas in his head and neglected to mention them to you. It might have been avoided had he said "hey I got this money and this is what I want to do with it" instead of telling you what he did with it. Even though it's 'his' money, in a partnership talking about things like that makes fights less frequent. Still, money is a tricky issue, there's no doubt about that. I am sorry you feel fucked...I can relate. I wish I could help you feel less fucked. If I win huge piles of money, you are first on my list of people to take care of, just so you know! Oi vei, that’s a tough one. I see you disagreeing on two different things. One, the money, TD’s birthday check and two, money. But it’s not money reallly, it’s priorities and communication. Your priorities for the money that TD got is the biggest issue. He thought one thing, you another. The lack of communication about it is the other issue, TD had ideas in his head and neglected to mention them to you. It might have been avoided had he said “hey I got this money and this is what I want to do with it” instead of telling you what he did with it. Even though it’s ‘his’ money, in a partnership talking about things like that makes fights less frequent.
Still, money is a tricky issue, there’s no doubt about that.
I am sorry you feel fucked…I can relate. I wish I could help you feel less fucked.
If I win huge piles of money, you are first on my list of people to take care of, just so you know!

]]> By: Tommy B. Goode http://www.psycho-momia.com/?p=132&cpage=1#comment-280 Tommy B. Goode Thu, 12 Jun 2008 23:39:10 +0000 http://www.psycho-momia.com/?p=132#comment-280 I'm sorry to hear it. It's not good to be fucked in the wrong way. Okay, I'm going to be a big dumb man and give suggestions when sympathy is all that's been asked for (if that): I've noticed that when you talk about money issues, you talk about the demand side (unnecessary purchases that should not have happened, necessary purchases that came up unexpectedly). But I haven't heard you talk much about the supply side. Are there career options for either of you that might make a Big Difference financially? Sometimes the pain we avoid by not taking those jobs turns out to be less than the pain we bring by trying to squeak by without them. As a guy who recently changed jobs, I've been pleasantly surprised by how well it's working out, and wishing I'd pursued the possibility sooner. So yes, I'm projecting. But if you're getting nickeled and dimed to death, it might be worth thinking about. I’m sorry to hear it. It’s not good to be fucked in the wrong way.

Okay, I’m going to be a big dumb man and give suggestions when sympathy is all that’s been asked for (if that):

I’ve noticed that when you talk about money issues, you talk about the demand side (unnecessary purchases that should not have happened, necessary purchases that came up unexpectedly). But I haven’t heard you talk much about the supply side.

Are there career options for either of you that might make a Big Difference financially? Sometimes the pain we avoid by not taking those jobs turns out to be less than the pain we bring by trying to squeak by without them.

As a guy who recently changed jobs, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how well it’s working out, and wishing I’d pursued the possibility sooner. So yes, I’m projecting. But if you’re getting nickeled and dimed to death, it might be worth thinking about.

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